This week I attended a memorial service for the father of one of my dearest friends. The service was at times solemn but probably more times humorous, and was in complete keeping with the life of the man being honored – a life well lived, by a man of great knowledge, integrity, and faith, that left its mark on his community – a very well known university in a relatively small Southern town.
As it turns out one of those marked lives was mine; as my Organic Chemistry professor during my freshman year – entirely as a result of my own doing, of course – his class set me off on a path quite different than the road through medical school that I had planned. In spite of the fact that I was just one of hundreds of students he taught each year, he had taken the time that year to repeatedly ask his daughter (another freshman in my dorm, and a new-found friend) whether I was studying, when of course I should have been but wasn’t, or whether I needed help. While she would always pass along his concern she was kind enough to cover for me; or maybe, it occurs to me now, she was really just being kind to her Dad, since she knew he genuinely cared. In the end Organic didn’t work out so well for me but regardless of that history, or maybe because of it, I had often thought about visiting with him over the past thirty years just to reconnect and let him know how I was doing. Somehow I never made the time, aside from a brief conversation at her 50th birthday party. Which is the point of this post…
While his memorial service last Wednesday was easily the most uplifting one I have ever attended, I found myself weeping at the end. Not for my friend, his daughter, but for myself – for the missed opportunity to have spent time with someone so remarkable, who, in the midst of a very full life, cared a great deal about me and my progress. And not that I was special – it was clear listening to the tribute that he cared deeply about all of his students, his colleagues, and his community in general. So add to the list of wise and faithful – truly giving, and kind. How many people like that do you cross paths with in life, really? It occurred to me as we sang the closing hymn – not so very many…
I know life is short, but how do you make sure that you prioritize your time so that, if you’re lucky enough to come across them, you spend time with them, learn from them, and at least put yourself in the position to possibly give something back??
